Love lost

Dear Target,

I don't even know how to do this. I know that breaking up via blog is so childish, but I feel like our latest spat was also childish (on your part), and I'm pretty peeved right now. My little Claire got the cutest bathing suit for her birthday, but I'm afraid it won't fit her in a few months when we're actually able to swim outside. I don't have the receipt, as it was a gift, and apparently you no longer give gift receipts with every purchase. But I thought I could at least EXCHANGE it for the next size up. I mean, it has the TAG on it still, which is CLEARLY marked Circo (a brand carried exclusively by you), and it has never been worn. The nice lady at customer service looked me up in your computer system using my driver's license, and noted that I had already used my 2 (TWO!) non-receipt returns/exchanges for the year. I quickly did the math, and came up with the fact that it is still January of this year, and I am pretty certain that I have not returned anything yet in 2008. She pointed to her paper where she had written down two dates:

1. 1/08/07
2. 6/24/07

She pointed at the last date and said that she would be glad to accept my return after June 24th of THIS YEAR. So it's not a calendar year thing, nor is it even a within-12-months thing, or I would have been able to return this bathing suit because today is later than January 8th. This makes no sense to me.

So. I called my friend Rae, who gave us the darling bathing suit in lime green and white stripes with the cutest ruffle you ever have seen, and asked her if she had by any chance kept that darned receipt. Maybe it was the tone in my voice, but she started in on a rant. "Oh I KNOW! It is so annoying that they won't let you exchange anything without your license, and you only get 2 per year! I once had to give them my license for a Match Box car return!" She told me she does still have the receipt, because she was concerned that maybe we would need to exchange the gifts, and then she launched into her experience trying to get a gift receipt from said store which does not accept returns without a receipt. She had already been cashed out, and when she looked at her receipt, she noticed there was no gift portion on it. She asked the checker if she could have a gift receipt and he said it was too late! "Just give them the actual receipt." This is not an acceptable answer, Target.

Now. If you are going to require a receipt for such silly things as EXCHANGES for the EXACT SAME ITEM, and people without their receipt may only have 2 of these exchanges per non-calendar year, then PERHAPS you should include a GIFT RECEIPT on EVERY SINGLE DAMN PURCHASE.

I do love you, Target. You have fun things. Your prices are reasonable. You are so close by. Your stores make me happy, and even my oldest daughter loves to go to "the big red ball store". But I think we may need to take a break for awhile, and hope that each other's absence will repair the damage that has been done. Perhaps you should seek therapy. Until then, I will have to drive all the way to the BX, or even to *gah* WalMart. Please make a change for the better.

Sincerely,

The owner of a very cute too-small child's bathing suit