For Sale

For sale: one grumpy, unreasonable, full of mischief sweet, loving, cuddly and cute three-year-old. Loves lotion, water, permanent markers, chalk, and reprogramming computers.

Aaaaand, the honeymoon is over

I just found lotion on the cat. And on my rugs, and the bathroom counter and floor. What is it with Claire and lotion? The "I've got tons of energy, we're going to keep really busy, and the time will just fly by!" attitude I started the week out with is now fading. The girls had dance class this morning (after which the instructor told me I couldn't take pictures of my children during class anymore because one of the other dads didn't want me taking photos of his daughter? Seriously?), and then we went directly to a birthday party at a bouncy place. So, a 10 minute morning nap for Luke in the car. And then Claire and Luke fell asleep for 15 minutes on the way home from the party, and then refused to nap when we got home. Sooooo, everyone is crabby (including me, clearly), and it's hours until bedtime. And I know it's only been a week, and some others I know complained a lot less over a lot longer period of time! Tomorrow I'll suck it up. As long as I get a good night's sleep.

Lucky for Claire, she's cute. We are sitting next to each other in the loft right now, each of us "working" on our laptops. Kate is giving Claire encouragement, "Thumbs up, Buttercup!", and Luke is alternating practicing his walking skills and trying to discern the purpose of the Barbie pool (it seems that "item holder" is winning).

The Sixth Sense of a Toddler

How is it that a two-year-old can spy a jar full of pens, and choose the one pen that has that special permanent ink? Also, does anyone have a remedy for removing Sharpie from furniture?

Way to go, Claire! She got both cushions. Don't do a half-assed job, I always say.

Stinker

If you can't account for her whereabouts, beware. She's been called Claire the Destroyer before, with good reason. She's been known to moisturize herself (and the carpet and railing), spice things up if life gets too boring, host tea parties in inappropriate locales, express her artistic self in ways I'd hoped not to see, and redecorate rooms without anyone asking her to. She has a penchant for playing with water, and she loves her morning coffee. Of course, she learned a lot from her big sister. Kate can't hold a candle to Claire, however. Kate's idea of a mess is a lot more amusing and a lot less ohshitwhere'stheresolvecarpetcleanerohnowecan'tbeoutofitagain.

For instance, this was the scene in their room after Kate spent a couple of "nap time" hours alone:

For some unknown reason, Kate redecorated their room with the contents of Claire's underwear drawer.

My favorite picture. She apparently didn't want the elephant to feel left out.

Claire holding the undies and bloomers that had been laid out neatly in rows across her bed.

She's very particular about her shoe arrangement. Tim thinks she's got a streak of me Monica in her.

Claire is much more...dangerous. And messy.

Twice in the last week, I have found her in my room with medicine from my bathroom closet. Lest you think I am leaving my cough syrup just lying around, I have all of our non-child-friendly pills and such on a shelf that is 5 feet high in the closet. She is climbing the shelving to get to what she wants. The first time, I found her with 2 bottles of Robitussin and a bottle of Tylenol. She was hiding behind my bedroom curtains with the cat, preparing to have cocktails. I am very thankful for child-proof caps, although I am somewhat concerned that she will find a way to break into them. If anyone can do it, she can.

Also this week: she has poured the contents of my water cup out onto the floor in Luke's room. Twice. When she finds the cup empty, she simply helps herself to more water from the bathroom sink. She has removed her diaper and peed on the floor once, and on her bed once. She has climbed into the tub shower in their bathroom to get a bar of soap, and I've found her playing with it in Luke's room. Last night she put a stack of unused wipes in the toilet, causing much fun for me and Tim. I have found her in the loft silently rubbing vaseline and lotion all over her face. Twice today she has dumped the contents of her milk cup onto the kitchen table when I've been upstairs with Luke to change his diaper. She removed an entire stick of glue from the stick and rubbed it on the kitchen table, again when I was changing Luke's diaper. She and Kate were supposed to be gluing papers together. At bath time, she turned her Little People airplane into a seaplane and put it in the tub. I haven't replaced the batteries yet to see if it still works. She has drawn on our new picnic table with crayon, and delights in throwing rocks into the pool. Instead of throwing her food away after lunch, I have later found it rotting in the recycle bin. Mind you, these things all happened within the last week. I'm not sure what happened to my sweet little Claire, but she has turned into a terror when someone isn't watching her every move.

On a cuter note, we went to dinner at our local sushi restaurant the other night. We ordered several pieces of sushi, some tempura for the girls, and some sushi rolls. Claire ate two whole pieces of the unagi roll, dipped in soy sauce. Tim fell in love with her all over again that night.

Exhausting

I'm not generally a subscriber to the 'Murphy's Law' philosophy, but as of late it seems that if it's not one child, it's another. By this I mean that if it isn't Kate peeing her bed in the middle of the night, it will be Claire falling out of hers. If it isn't Luke failing to nap, it's Claire refusing to do so. Today it was the latter. I am at a point where I need an afternoon nap so as not to be 1.) a total grump in the evening hours, and 2.) to maintain some semblance of sanity and/or coherence after 4pm. In recent months, it has been Kate who has challenged the nap time routine, preferring instead to roam the house adult-free and cause untold destruction. Finally, she is starting to behave in this arena, and has passed the reins to her younger sister, who is exponentially more...dangerous...in this regard.

Today, something woke me around 3pm, probably about 30 minutes into a nap. The half-hour point is not a good point to be awakened, as anyone who has been abruptly jarred from sleep at this point will attest to. I checked Luke's room for signs of Claire. She was sitting prettily on her sofa, where she naps, but was mysteriously covered in brownish bits. Upon further investigation, I found that she had not yet slept, and that her pillow and blanket were "missing". Because she had been playing with a toy from the loft, which somehow made it to her room during nap time, I expected to find the missing items there. They were not in the loft. I went downstairs after she told me where to find them, and also found a juice cup on my desk. And one of Luke's burp cloths laid out like a table cloth on a box in the entryway. When retrieving her pillow, I stepped in what appeared to be invisible crumbs on the tile floor of the family room. It occurred to me that the last time I had felt such a sensation on my bare feet had been when Claire had 'salted' the kitchen floor. Sure enough, I looked around the family room to see a pile of salt and bread crumbs on the sofa and floor. On my way upstairs, I saw more bread crumbs on the bottom step. I'm not sure exactly what kind of party she was having while I was napping, but it involved a fresh loaf of zucchini-carrot bread whose top is now missing, and a salt shaker that I am currently unable to find.

Two is not my favorite age on you, Claire

After yesterday's successful painting experience, I thought I'd give it another go. Except this time, both children were painting at the same time. This, I believe, was where I went horribly wrong.

It started out innocently enough.

Then Claire apparently started flinging paint, while I was cleaning paintbrushes across the room. For 30 seconds.

Evidence.

The end result: paint on 2 walls, 3 chairs, 2 children, the floor, and 2 newish chair cushions. Claire is cut off from painting.

It's only 10:15am. I'm doomed.

Claire the Destroyer strikes again

What?

It wasn't me. You didn't see it happen and can't prove a thing.

Destroying Thomas' tracks.

So tired after Taz's fini flight.

***

Also, it is now 2:30 and the girls have been in bed (and awake) for an hour. An hour. For the love of GOD, go to sleep already!