How to Ruin Your Night

1. Hear baby cry and get up to give her a binky.


2. Shuffle back down the hall in the dark to return to bed.


3. On the way, feel a sharp pain in your foot.


4. Immediately turn the light on the the bathroom next to you, certain you know what caused the pain.


5. Watch as the scorpion that just stung you slinks across the tile floor in search of more things to sting.

It was just after 1:30am when I heard McLaren crying. I'm trying to wean her off of her 1am feeding, so I got up to put a binky in her mouth to help her get back to sleep. I walked out of her room to go back to bed, and nearly immediately felt a sharp sting. I knew what it was even at that hour. Son of a bitch! I turned the bathroom light on and sure enough, there it was on the tile, scurrying away. I grabbed Kate's bath cup and stuck it over the pest, and walked quickly into our bedroom. "Tim. Tim! I just got stung." Huh? He woke up pretty quickly. I limped to the kitchen to get some ice, as what had felt initially like a bee sting was beginning to hurt a hell of a lot worse. Tim got the Raid and I heard him spray the thing to death. It didn't give me much satisfaction, as my foot began to feel like it was on fire.

I grabbed the phone and the list of emergency numbers from my desk, and called poison control. The woman who answered told me that I was probably going to be okay, since I'm 33 and in generally good health. She said that children under 3 (hello, I have 2 of those) are the most likely to have problems. I recalled the toddler on the northwest side who got stung last week and didn't get better after 3 days so they had to take him to another hospital and give him an experimental antivenin (he is now fine). For children, you have to watch for muscle twitching and convulsions. I can see why, as my foot spontaneously twitched for several hours afterwards. Having lived here for 2 years now, I had hoped that none of us would ever get stung.

It is now almost 12 hours later and it hurts to walk. Starbuck stepped on my foot this morning and caused shooting pains. My foot is numb, but a burning type of numb, not the kind where you just don't feel anything. Earlier this morning, I had numbness halfway up my shin. Occasionally I feel a stabbing at the site of the sting that feels like I'm getting stung again, sending me into a fit as I drop everything to look down at my foot and make sure there is no scorpion on me. This is particularly hazardous while driving. I talked to my friend Katie who got stung twice here about a year ago, and she said her whole arm was numb for 4 days (she was stung on each wrist after putting her son in the baby bjorn - it was hiding there and she was thankful it didn't sting him). I like Arizona, but I am about ready for our next assignment please.

All in all, I thank God that it was me who got stung, and not one of the girls. I cannot imagine dealing with that.