Random thoughts

Do you know that all the best foods out there have dairy in them? Mexican food: cheese, SOUR CREAM. Italian food: cheese, cheese, cheese. Sandwiches: better with cheese. Then there's ice cream. Even sherbert has milk in it. Ugh.

I took a 2-hour nap today and woke up feeling like I'd slept half the night. That's probably because a 2-hour nap is half my night's sleep.

I'm pretty sure I should buy stock in Huggies.

Tim is on nights this week. Even with a 1:1 ratio of adults to children (Tim's parents are both here), there was still a lot of craziness and tears. I am fairly certain I will be joining in the tears the next time Tim is on nights and I am alone with all the children. *shudder*

We have hired a cleaning lady. This is possibly the best decision we have ever made.

I ran approximately 1/2 mile today. I am already questioning this action. I don't know if I will be able to walk up the stairs tomorrow.

I haven't been peed on in a few days. I am getting faster at jumping out of the way.

People have been sending us awesome gifts. I have not started writing notes to thank them. If you are one of these people, know that I am grateful, and that you should receive a note before summer is officially here.

I would post a picture of Luke, but am too lazy to find the camera or download the new photos. Soon. Really. Keep checking back.

Dr. Mom

Symptoms:

• bossy, slightly indignant 3 1/2 year old tells her mother in loud voice to "come ON", in attempt to get mother to pick up her sweatshirt and leave already from school
• has minor tantrum on way to car when mother tells her she can have glitter-encrusted shamrock back when we get home, and that no, she may not hold it in the brand new car
• has major tantrum when said adult takes previously mentioned shamrock from her at brand new car
• won't get into car without high-pitched screaming fit
• inspires younger sibling to join in the noise; extremely loud crying from both children ensues on way home; mother becomes certain she will be sent into labor by own previously-born children
• eldest daughter refuses to get out of car once home, despite promises that she can go straight to bed if she would prefer to disobey
• mother finally removes children from car, begins making lunch amidst crying children who stand in way and impede progress
• youngest daughter finally calms down when given milk; oldest daughter continues to cry for her father
• after approximately 2 bites of sandwich, eldest daughter refuses to eat another morsel of food; mother sends her to bed
• all is quiet within 45 seconds

Diagnosis:

• numerous nights of "sleepovers" during which the children play, giggle and talk until approximately 9pm, followed by morning awakenings of 7am and minimal naps, have caused this phenomenon to occur

Prescription:

• immediate naps for all children, and mother (if she can stop nesting long enough to rest)
• glass of wine for mother, with potential for reisling-flavored sippy cup drinks for children if chaos does not dissipate*

*CPS: totally kidding on the alcoholic drinks for children. Hey, you never know who might be waiting to come take your children away.

An update of sorts

How yummy do these look? Brownies covered in chocolate. Mmm.

It's a cold morning here. I went outside to plug the house Christmas lights in, as it's very overcast and dark, and I could see my breath. I'm loving it! I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the children this morning, as I had been planning to take them to the park to get out some pent-up energy, but I'm sure we'll figure something out.

The girls successfully slept in the same room for two nights. The first night Claire fell out of bed once and woke up crying another time, likely scared about where she was. The second night was virtually stress-free for us. Last night was not one of those nights, however, so we are still hit-and-miss.

Tim played Twister with the girls last night for the first time. It was hilarious. And it lasted about 3 minutes. I tried to find the camera in the midst of the game, but by the time I found it they were done.

And now for some photos.

What is it with my children and Kleenex?


Shopping for very specific Christmas decorations.


Enjoying her ice cream at Macaroni Grill.

REALLY enjoying her ice cream.

Toddler property laws, and a gingerbread house

Yesterday we made a gingerbread house. When I say 'we', really I mean I put it together, made the frosting glue, stuffed it full of marshmallows to make it stand upright because I was too lazy to build an under-structure, and decorated half the house. Kate tried to sneak as much candy as possible, took the house apart a couple of times, and finally began decorating it after I told her we were almost all done. What can you expect from a 2-year-old? I think we did pretty well.

I came across this recently. I haven't seen it in a while, and it's just so...fitting right now.

Toddler Property Laws

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3. If I can take it away from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours. (No, the pieces are probably still mine.)

Happy Holidays!

Day 2

I am guessing by your silence that you are either:

1. Busy and have not read about my toy despair, or
2. Do not agree with my method of fixing the situation and are trying to avoid me, all the while *tsk-tsking* me and my mothering skills.

It is day 2 of Operation Clean Up Your Toys or Else. It is also school/daycare day, so it hasn't been a good measure for how things are going. We haven't been home much yet today. (Big thank you to Camille for a lovely lunch!) But I do think that Kate knew I was unhappy with the situation yesterday, and as Tim pointed out, I don't think she likes it when I'm mad at her. She was extra sweet to me this morning. I'm not really mad at her; I'm just frustrated with the level of mess that this house has reached, and she is a big contributor. So we're working on that.

And she has ways to earn her toys back. If she gets things out and then puts them away when asked to, she will get a toy out of time-out. She's a pretty smart kid, so it will probably be Thursday morning when all of her toys have earned a pardon.

Claire is cruising now. I think that's what you call it when they walk along the furniture? Leave her at one end of the coffee table, come come back moments later, and you will find her at the other end of the table (especially if there is a beer or a remote control at the other end). She is also walking behind her push-walker by herself.

What?

I. Have. Had. Enough.

Last week I begged for a solution to the toddler-clean-up issue. It's a new week, and things have not gotten better. It does not help matters when my husband's employer keeps him at work for 60-70 hours a week. Him not being home + messy house + toddler who won't listen = pissed off mommy.

I called my sister-in-law, Sheila, for help. She said that she has gone the route of the silent butler, and that did the trick. Kate got several chances to pick up all of her toys today, and I told her that any toys left out were going into time-out. The first time (this morning before we went to the park) it worked like a charm. She did not want her beloved books to go into time-out. This evening, it did not work. I gathered up the toys and put half on top of her bookshelf in her toy room, and the other half in the closet. She lost a lot of toys today, including both Dora dolls. Somehow I feel a little bit better right now, empowered in a way. I also feel like a Bad Mommy. I have a feeling that tomorrow when the whining begins, I will begin the self-doubt phase, and wonder if I wasn't a bit too harsh. So, note to self: you did the right thing! Don't give in! You must win this fight, either tonight or 3 years from now!

Regarding other family members: best of luck to my dad and the rest of San Diego who have evacuated their homes due to wildfires. Hope your place is still standing at the end of the week, dad!

Totally

I did it!

I've been debating cutting my hair for a long time. Cutting my hair, not just trimming. I don't know why; I've just wanted to try short hair. So here I am! I dropped Kate off at daycare, and took McLaren with me. I thought for sure when I went to pick Kate up she would have some kind of ... reaction ... but no. Nothing. She just ran to me to give me a big hug. "Mommy!" Claire, I'm not sure about. I think she is skeptical, but I at least still sound the same, so I think she's accepting me. My husband, I'm not so sure about. I like it, though. That could change when I have to do it myself. My hairstylist can make any cut look good in the shop. Me? I'm not that patient or talented. I hope I haven't ruined my hair.

We're all starting to feel better. There's still a lot more snot around here than I like, but we're on the mend.

Yesterday Kate fell in the pool. I was already in, and close-by. She was reaching for something in the pool, and suddenly: splash! She kind of tumbled in, and bit her tongue and (I just realized this afternoon) also scraped her chin on the way in. But I was really calm. I think it helped that I was right there in the water already, in case she needed help. She floated to the top in no time and righted herself on her back. After some coaxing from me, she flipped over and grabbed my hand, just like in swim lessons. Awesome. That is why we are going through the pain of swim lessons. Way to go, Kate!

My friend Amie commented the other day that she envied me a little on the family front. I understand her thoughts, but just wanted to give a glimpse into my daily life:

Tim got home on Tuesday. Then he had to work late last night, so it was just the girls and me for dinner again. This is not meant to tell you that Tim is an absentee father; it was just pretty much mealtime standard.

Imagine a rectangular, glass-topped table. I sit at the head of the table so as best to see and attend to both girls. Kate is to my left in her booster seat. Claire is in the highchair on my right. Kate eats a few bites of food with her utensil, and then tilts her head to the side cutely and wipes her garlic pasta-covered little fingers across the table, stopping momentarily to admire her work. She then stuffs pasta into her mouth, forgoing the nice fork I have provided for her.

Claire nonchalantly drops her plastic cup off the side of her tray and then looks at me sideways as if to say, "gonna pick that up for me, lady?". She sucks her thumb noisily, eyeing my bread, and converses with her sister:

Claire: Mmmma!
Kate: ABC, weeeee ah way home, icky pea! Icky pea! Icky pea! UH-OH. Icky pea! Mommy beee (big) hug. More dip, Mommy! More dip more dip more dip! (shoving bits of olive oil-covered bread across the table at me) UH-OH. (bread dropped on floor) Ice keem cone! Ice keem cone! Aaah done, Mommy, aaah done. Git dow! Git dow! Aah done!
Claire: Aah Mmmma! Mamamamamama! (banging cups)

Tim arrived home right as the girls were settling down to bed (post dinner, post clean up, post bath, post teeth brushing, post story time, post whining about not wanting to go to bed, post endless runny noses...). They were so happy to see him, and quieted right down after he tucked them in. How do you like that?

Toddler for sale

Okay, before you call CPS and/or hit the comment button to post a bid, know that I am (mostly) kidding. In general, Kate is one of the best 3 things that has happened to me. But this week she has come into her terrible twos with a vengeance that even I was not prepared for. She is hitting, kicking, screaming, and throwing herself on the floor in full-up tantrum mode that only a toddler can achieve. The other night, she cried so hard she made herself sick, literally. She got a bath and I got to clean up chunks of dinner. Normally I just ignore the tantrums if we are at home, but with her ability to cry so hard that she actually throws up, I am forced to double-think that method of tolerance. If I let her cry too hard, I'm afraid of what the result will be. I am thankful that she is not biting, and pray that no one mentions this out loud near her lest she get any ideas.

Mostly, I cannot understand what she is crying about. She is crying so hard and screaming and I just can't understand what she is trying to say. I know this is frustrating for both of us. I think the past 2-3 episodes have involved clothing: she either wants to wear something or does not, and I want/need her to do the converse of what she wants. For instance, I won't let her go to bed without pants on, because she'll take her diaper off, and that's just too much. I cannot figure out a solution. Ideas?

On the other hand, Claire is at my favorite age. She is able to sit up (mostly) unassisted, she can't move besides rolling from her back to her tummy, she coos and dissolves into a fit of screamy giggles when you snort on her neck or belly, she grabs her toes and chews on them, she throws one arm across her eyes and puts her other thumb in her mouth when she's tired, and the only things she can say are 'Maaa!' and 'Aaaaah!'

Now, I don't not love Kate (for those who don't like quadruple negatives, this translates to: I love Kate dearly), don't get me wrong. I'm just near wit's end trying to sort out how to handle her. Until then, I'll just enjoy her nap time, and hope that this stage passes. Fast.

Question

Do you double-wash the toddler vomit-soaked clothes/changing pad cover/carpet, or just burn it all?

Confessions of a 30-something drama queen

Okay, okay! I'm fine, really. I know that after that last post most of you are wondering if I am doing okay in the mental department. I'm fabulous, really. It's just hard being a mom of 2 small children sometimes, you know? Anyone? Someone back me up here. Anyway, these things make for good blog stories, and so you have to take some liberties.

Like yesterday, with Claire the Sprinkler. That's a fun story. But I promised Tim the rights to that one, so you'll have to wait.

Kate surprised me last week. We were over at Dana's and she started saying her ABCs. She does this often. But this time, she kept going. I think she made it all the way through V. Since then she has done this several times (including WXYZ nowIknowABCsingwithme), so I know it's not just a fluke. She is also counting past 10, but I'm not certain where past 10. I heard 19 once, but I can't recall if I heard all the numbers between 11 and 18 first.

Claire enjoys a nice amber ale.

I don't know where to begin

My list of stuff to do is so long that I'm at a loss. So I'm blogging. Sounds like a good place to start, right?

I did get the floors cleaned yesterday, which gave me much satisfaction. That feeling of accomplishment is now gone, however, as I take inventory of every horizontal surface in the house and find them all covered in mail or clean laundry, and see that my hope of crossing more stuff off my list this weekend dwindling. We've only been home a week, right? I guess it's not that bad. But my Monica instincts are so...strong...and it's making me crazy! The disarray is truely giving me heart palpitations.

We found out that we are off the VML. We thought we'd be moving by May of next year, but the Air Force has extended us and we are now in the next VML. That likely means a move over the summer of 2008. Personally, I'm hoping for Europe. But I've been hoping for Europe since, well, 2000, when we got engaged. North Carolina, Korea and Arizona have not quenched that desire to live in Europe. I'm not picky. I'd take England. I know it's not technically Europe, but it's sort of closer to it than we are here. Or, I'd take Italy. Or Germany. Hell, I'd take Hungary. Come on, people! Send us to Europe! Please.

We went to a birthday party this afternoon. I don't have any pictures. This is because it went kind of like this:

Arrive at community pool where party is being held. Try to entertain a toddler while your husband holds the baby. Swim in the pool with the toddler because it's so damn hot out that it's miserable if you're not in the water. Second guess your idea that 2 kids in the pool would be too difficult, and feel really guilty when your baby looks really really hot. Spritz her with the spray bottle you brought and hope that cools her and her father off. Notice that it does not seem to help. Get out of the pool and try to appease the baby while your husband goes to get food for the toddler. At 5:15 when the toddler is mostly done with her meal, say good-bye to your husband who has to go home and get ready to go to work (Go Lightning Strike Force, woohoo!). Nod in agreement to all your friends who point out that it's Saturday. Try to corral the toddler who is now wandering about in a heatstroke daze, dangerously close to the pool. Also try to keep the baby cool since she never got to swim and cool off. Put the baby in the stroller, hoping that errant toddlers won't feed her red vines while you chase the toddler around the far end of the pool. Glance back at the baby and see another toddler try to take her toy from her. Watch her start to cry. Try to herd the toddler back to the other side of the pool so we can take care of the baby, and have some cake. Thank your friends profusely when they offer to hold the baby. Finally get everyone into the car to head home, where life is a lot easier.

I'm a drama queen, I know. It really wasn't that bad. But pool parties with 2 kids and 1 parent are really just not fun. Period.

My goal is to sleep in tomorrow. I know it's totally unrealistic. But you have to have goals. Tonight, my goal is to finish the bottle of Petite Syrah that is on my kitchen counter. I think I might accomplish that one.

A trip to the park and an ice cream cone

Yesterday we took Kate and McLaren to the park one last time before we have to leave.

After walking across the bridge to the park, we saw this sign.

After many trips down the slide, Kate got to try her first ice cream cone. This experience included:

• 1 dropped ice cream cone (Tim's)
• some playing in the doggy water dish near the outside seating
• Kate sitting down at someone else's table and eating some of their food
• Kate deciding to "pet" the cement puppy statue and Tim soon realizing that it was covered in a fresh coat of paint (and now Kate was, too)

We are headed out tomorrow morning, hopefully by 6am. Ha. I can hear your collective laughs from here. Zip it; it could happen - we might leave by then.

Our first stop will be Boise, followed by Salt Lake City, Zion, Flagstaff, and finally Tucson. Y'all hold down the internet for me until we get home.

Bad parents all around

We had a weekend full of bad parenting here. We started out by taking our 2 young children to a nasty swap meet in near-100* heat on Saturday morning. Then we brought them back home, and I left them with their father for 2 hours while I got my hair done. When I came home, I found this:

Yo, Ma, look at me.

Rocky McLaren.

Granted, her eye looks like it is swollen shut not from the fall into the coffee table, but from her eye infection, but still. That bruise on her forehead? Not caused by pink-eye.

Then, while swimming that afternoon, Kate tried my beer. She did not like it, even though it was a tasty micro-brew. In my defense: Tim was starting the grill around the side of the house, I was in the pool, and Kate was on the patio. Not in my defense: I failed to put my beer out of the reach of Kate, and I left my child alone on the patio.

Last night McLaren had some peas for dinner. Okay, she had quite a few peas for dinner. Apparently they did not agree with her, and I found her this morning lying in a crusted pile of pea goo. I think she spit up all of the peas. I felt really bad because I had absolutely no idea that it happened until I got her up this morning, and there is no way she could have spewed that many peas without crying. We are officially turning off the swamp cooler at night and turning on the AC. The cooler is really nice, but it's also really loud, as referenced above.

Then, this morning, after McLaren's emergency bath, I was pulling the clean laundry out of the dryer and noticed both of Kate's blankets were in the pile. That explains a lot about why she was talking in her room last night until nearly 8:30, when she went to bed at about 7:15. Neither Tim nor I will be getting the parent of the month award for June.

To leave you with a more positive mental picture, here's Kate walking in Tim's sandals.

Slow on the Uptake

That's me. Or maybe I'm just a positive, well-intentioned girl who always wants to think bigger than is truly possible.

Every morning I wake up full of ambition, thinking of all that I am going to accomplish that day. Let's see, I need to clean the bathroom. Maybe I'll put away all the toys in the living room today. The 2 loads of clean laundry stuffed into an undersized basket need to be put into drawers. Perhaps I'll go grocery shopping, probably ought to mop because Kate's little feet are so Black every night, I should call my sister and see how she's doing, Kate has swim lessons at 9, then I need to play with McLaren, read a book to Kate, update the blog, send some photos to friends...and the list goes on and on. You would think that just the randomness of these thoughts should tell me something: that there is No Way I am going to accomplish half of them. Yet every morning, I wake up thinking of all that is going to get done That Day. Does anyone else do this? Maybe it's just me.

Just thinking about it exhausts me.

So, Father's Day. Plans? What are you doing for the big day? My dad is headed out for the weekend, so we'll spend it swimming, relaxing (yeah, right) and hanging out with my sister and her family.

Happy Mother's Day!

This Mother's Day, I ask you to give a mom a break. As a mom, I now understand so much more about life, and about why moms look and act the way they do.

For instance, if you are expecting a mom to meet you somewhere at a given time, understand that she could be late for any number of reasons. She could have been up late the night before, wondering when her husband was going to get home, hoping to talk to him after several days of limited contact due to his job (and hers). She could have decided to sleep just a few minutes longer, since the kids were still quiet, although she knew that she would be pushing it later if she wanted to arrive to her destination on time. She could have decided (dammit) that she was going to take a shower even though they had to leave in 15 minutes, put the eldest child in the pack 'n play that was still set up in her bedroom from last weekend, set the youngest child in the bouncy chair and hurriedly washed her hair. She probably frantically combed through her dripping locks, scowled at the 200 hairs that came out in the comb and wondered when this post-pregnancy annoyance would end.

Then she'd pick up the eldest child and smell something funny, just as they were supposed to be putting shoes on and getting into the car. After a record-fast diaper change, she might have put the eldest child on a kitchen chair to help her put her shoes on, not noticing the (full) coffee cup that she had left there from breakfast. That eldest child might then have grabbed the coffee mug and dumped it onto the floor, soaking her mother's shorts and coating the floor, table and chairs with sticky coffee. Perhaps at that point the mother would question her sanity and wonder how their "vacation" to Mexico that weekend was going to go. That, of course, would put her into a slight panic when she realized that she had not yet even begun to pack, that she still needed to sort out the childrens' sleeping arrangements whilst on vacation, and that she was now quite late for her appointment.

So Much Fun

If you can't find us over the summer months at home, we're probably here:

Kate enjoys the misters.

Peeking out from behind a water gun.

Getting very wet.

We went to Brandi Fenton Memorial Park today along with several other moms and kids. Kate was apprehensive at first, but after I started splashing around, she did too, and she had a great time. We got to leave McLaren at home with Tim since he's on nights, so it was just Kate and me. She loved it! We'll be spending a lot of time there in the next few months, I hope.

Claire is starting to laugh now. She has this silly 'ha ha ha' rapid/forced laugh that's really hammy and funny. I hope she'll keep it up long enough so that I can get a video of her doing it, but so far I think I'm the only one who has heard her. She is growing up fast and is sleeping so well now. I can put her down around 7-7:30pm and she won't wake up until 7:30-8am. And she is taking great naps, which allow me time to spend with Kate. Claire also has this fun eyebrow thing going; she is definitely related to my side of the family, as she can already raise one eyebrow and does so often. She looks like she is skeptical of everything.

Kate is doing great, too. She's so funny, laughing when she's pulling Starbuck's string for him to chase her, and playing peek-a-BOO at the dinner table. She wants to be just like me; she puts her cell phone and wallet in her purse, and walks around the house occasionally opening her phone to say "uh-huh" and "bye-bye" and then closing it again, with purpose. We're trying to teach her earmuffs ("Max, can you earmuff for me?" Beanie, Old School) because she's learning new words pretty quickly and I fully expect her to repeat something her father (never me) has said in her presence, and it will probably happen at a very inopportune time, like at church. Anyway.

If You Give a Mom a Muffin

If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She'll pour herself some. Her three year old will spill the coffee. She'll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She'll remember she has to do the laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer. Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She'll look for her cookbook (101 Things to Make with a Pound of Hamburger). The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old. She'll smell something funny. She'll change the two year old. While she is changing the two year old, the phone will ring. Her five year old will answer and hang up. She'll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee. Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

~author unknown
~sentiment not